


How to be Zen During the Apocalypse

by humanoid_life_form



Category: SOMA (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26031475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanoid_life_form/pseuds/humanoid_life_form
Summary: Steve and Jin go to the beach and think about life right before the world ends.Submission for the Frictional Games Fan Jam of Summer 2020.
Relationships: Steve Glasser/Jin Yoshida
Kudos: 4





	How to be Zen During the Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> "Telos is a term used by philosopher Aristotle... [that] can be understood as 'the supreme end to man's endeavour.'"
> 
> \- Wikipedia entry on the word "Telos"

Steve Glasser and Jin Yoshida were the only people on the beach. The sun was starting to set over the water, casting everything in a dreamlike golden glow, sparkling off the gently rolling waves.

Lying on his back on a beach towel, Steve stared up into the blue sky, watching a single cloud drift along. Its outline shimmered gold, catching the light and tossing it back in an ethereal dance of photons.

"I thought there would be more people out here," Jin said quietly. "You know. Impending apocalypse."

Steve chuckled. "I brought us here to _not_ think about the apocalypse, remember?"

Jin was still staring out at the water, his face void of expression as he lounged in the beach chair under the shade of an umbrella. "That's kind of hard when you know this is the last time you'll ever see a sunset on the beach."

The cloud continued on its slow path, gradually changing shape as Steve watched. The light caught in new places, shimmering.

"It's kind of funny," Jin murmured. "First and last beach sunset at 26 years old. Who'd have thought?" He smiled a little. It wasn't a sad smile so much as it was a serene kind of acceptance, which was somehow _more_ depressing.

Steve took a deep breath, turning his eyes to the sky again. "We're gonna try and deflect it in November," he reminded him. "You might still live to see a thousand more sunsets."

Jin sighed. "Keyword: _might."_

As much as Steve wanted to argue—because he _knew_ there was always a chance, because he wanted so badly to cling to whatever shred of hope he had left—he couldn't respond. He couldn't tell Jin everything would be alright while knowing it was a lie. Shit was already hitting the fan, and everyone knew it. Banks were shutting down. Mega-corporations were going out of business. People were joyriding through the streets at 200 kilometers per hour because all the police people were at home with their own families, getting their goodbyes in before the whole planet went to shit.

And it was only August. Who knew what would happen by November?

The cloud in the sky was starting to scatter into small golden wisps.

Steve watched it and figured maybe tsunamis or radiation surges weren't the worst ways to go. At least death would be quick.

Steve took another breath. "You know...." He looked over at Jin again. Released his breath. "If we do end up dead at Tau, at least you won't have to turn thirty."

He knew full well he was toeing some kind of line, but Jin still laughed.

"Yeah." He smiled out at the water, and then something else seemed to occur to him, and his smile widened. Steve didn't ask what he was thinking about. He knew better than to expect straight answers from Jin on most days, so he just held the image of that smile while it lasted, kept it close because it was rare and beautiful. He hadn't seen Jin smile like that for a long time.

"I, on the other hand...." Steve shifted closer to Jin's chair, and Jin finally looked down at him. " _I'm_ basically a corpse."

Jin scoffed. "I'll bet. Thirty-two? Fucking ancient."

Steve laughed, leaning up to kiss Jin. He felt Jin smile into the kiss, so he moved closer to wrap his arms around him, and Jin leaned out of his seat to kiss back.

A laugh hummed in Jin's chest as he climbed out of the chair, still kissing him. Steve felt weightless, like he could actually die right then.

By the time they broke apart, Jin was in the sand beside Steve, and their arms were thoroughly tangled together, and Jin was still smiling.

"I wish Telos could at least wait until Spring," Jin murmured. "Then I'd be in the 27 Club."

Steve snorted so badly he thought he'd torn something in his face, and Jin's smile was ridiculously huge as he leaned in to kiss Steve's neck.

Steve closed his eyes, one hand finding its way into Jin's hair, the other skimming over his back to settle on his hip. Jin kissed his way up to Steve's jaw before pulling away a little, and Steve's eyes opened.

Jin's black-as-night eyes were half-lidded, gazing into Steve's own, and Steve's thoughts evaporated the way they always did when Jin looked at him like that—when they were entwined together like this, so close to each other that Steve's head felt like so much air, and Jin's hands and lips were eager to fill the void where his thoughts used to be.

This time, Jin was still. Something new had entered his mind, diminishing his smile until it faded away. His eyes drifted down to Steve's lips, and he released a slow breath.

Silently, Steve watched him. He had a feeling he knew what this was, and his heart was already sinking.

"I think I've taken my whole life for granted," Jin murmured.

Steve felt something in his chest give way, something vital. Like some part of him had slipped out of place, and all the other parts had moved in to settle around it so nothing was in the right spot anymore.

He really just wanted to tell Jin to shut up—He really did. Defeatism wouldn't serve anyone right now, especially if humanity as a species wanted any hope of saving itself.

But he knew that wasn't what Jin needed right now. He needed actual support.

So Steve focused on his own breathing, willing the grief out of his mind, tempering the tide of emotion before it swept him away completely.

Inhale.... Exhale.

Jin was still gazing at Steve's lips, but his eyes had misted over, his attention turning elsewhere.

"We've all taken our lives for granted," Steve said quietly, trying to bring him back.

Jin's eyebrows drew a little closer together, but he didn't respond.

Steve moved his hand down to rest against Jin's cheek. He watched as Jin's eyes fluttered closed.

"I have, too," Steve whispered.

"No." Jin's eyebrows knitted together. "You took the chances you were given. You _made_ your opportunities. Me, I just sailed through life on autopilot. Got good grades, did the bare minimum for school, all that shit. Somehow, people liked it enough that I got into PATHOS-II. It wasn't even that _hard."_

Steve raised his eyebrows a little, staring at Jin. "Do you really think that matters?" he said. "At all?"

"Yeah." Jin leaned a little more into Steve's touch. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, it shouldn't. And you did so much more work than you think. You're amazing. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else."

"Okay... but you didn't have your family with you through it all. _You_ were basically dead to your parents. I fucking _ignored_ mine. How can I fix that now?"

Steve didn't really know what to say to that, but he tried something anyway. He exhaled. "Use the time you've been given, I guess."

Jin frowned a little but didn't open his eyes. Steve sighed.

"Jin. Look at me."

Jin's expression twisted a little, a scowl flashing for half a second before his eyes opened.

Steve leaned in. Jin did not lean away.

"All we have is right now," Steve murmured. "That's all we've ever had."

The scowl returned. "Right. Because focusing on the _present moment_ will fix everything, I suppose?"

"No."

"Then how the fuck does it help?"

Steve waited a moment, gauging Jin's expression. Frustration, derision, a little bit of boredom... but also genuine curiosity. Jin was asking a real question.

So as an answer, Steve leaned in and kissed him, pressing his lips softly against Jin's and lingering there, keeping still.

Jin's face was still tense, but now it was more from confusion than from irritation. Steve pressed in harder, weaving his fingers into Jin's hair, and he moved his lips just a bit, and then Jin's body finally relaxed. Steve could feel the near-growl in Jin's chest that said, _I guess you're right, but I really, REALLY wish you weren't._

And just as his partner was starting to kiss back, Steve pulled away.

Jin leaned forward instinctively, but then he stopped himself, laying a hand flat against Steve's chest.

Steve smiled gently. "Did that help?"

The look of absolute disdain on Jin's face said _yes_ long before he shoved Steve down onto his back and kissed him again.

After that, not even a world-ending comet could have pulled them apart.


End file.
